I just found out this kid in my grade is gay and to be honest, I’m shocked! I usually don’t judge people based on their appearances or actions, so finding this out really made me view him in a different light, which is contrary to everything I stand for. Knowing that someone I believed was straight is now gay (and I guess vice versa, if such a case should occur in my life) is different than accepting this actuality for what it is. Why is it that standing beside him in the locker room was suddenly such a big deal to me? Why is it that now I cannot see him for the same kid I had bullied in Algebra I? Why is it that now I not only feel sympathy for his decision (which I shouldn’t) but that I also feel violated by his presence?
Well, violated is not the correct term. I feel like it is necessary to be aware around him, and though I know he will never treat me differently or come onto me (I would hope so) I really can’t help but question whether I’m a closet homophobe.
I support gay rights and the liberal agenda and all that shit, but when it hits home, what really do I believe?